“No man remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself.”

- Thomas Mann

In my last post, we began to explore the ways in which the two juxtaposing sides of ourselves, animating genius and shadow, must learn to complement each other and work together in order for each of us to be true leaders. Before we can do this, we must learn to appreciate the gifts our shadow sides have for us. In this post, we will continue to explore this concept.

Our shadows often contain within them the very qualities that we judge others for. Our impatience, intolerance, aggression, cowardice, greed, prideful ness, and any other weaknesses that keep us from allowing our animating genius to shine forth reside in our shadow selves. These qualities drive us to do things we are not proud of and keeps us from being true leaders. And they are the very qualities that frustrate us in the people we lead and interact with.

But before we can have any kind of influence on others, we must learn to be present with these qualities in ourselves. We cannot run from them; we must embrace them and learn what they have to teach us. We do this by observing our own behavior, and paying attention to that which feels aligned with who we really are and what leads us to feel separate from ourselves.

“To work in the world lovingly means that we are defining what

we will be for, rather than reacting

to what we are against.”

- Christina Baldwin, Writer and Actor

In my last post, we began to explore the vital role that compassion plays in integrating our shadows with animating genius so that we can become true leaders. I asserted that before we are able to exercise compassion, we must first cultivate awareness. Today, we will continue to explore this concept.

Once aware of behavior and our thoughts that lead us from being true leaders and the impact that behavior and those thoughts are having on us, we can decide what we would like to do instead. Then we can gently shift our focus and our actions to align with our desired state.

This process is gradual and often messy. But we must do it and be patient with ourselves in the process.

You may be asking why this is necessary. If there are qualities in ourselves we do not like, why should we embrace them? Why should we give them any portion of our energy and focus? Should we not turn our backs on them and immediately go in another direction?

“It is very easy in the world to live by the opinion of the world. It is very easy in solitude to be self-centered.

But the finished man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

In my last sequence of posts, we explored the juxtaposition of two very important sides of ourselves, our animating genius – or that part of us which is divinely inspired, and our shadow – or that part of us which we create to embody what we believe we need to do or be to succeed.

We concluded that these two parts of ourselves need to work with each other in concert. I believe animating genius must be put in the driver’s seat, utilizing the shadow as a resource and not the other way around.

In this series of posts, we will look what can happen to leaders when we disturb this balance by allowing the shadow to take the reigns.

Our shadow takes cues from the external environment to determine what behavior will allow it to get some kind of external gratification, whether it be a promotion, prestigious assignment, or a larger span of control. It is not uncommon to get ideas about what it means to be a leader by watching others who have gone before us. It is also not uncommon for people to emulate leaders they have reported to in the past, or those who hold positions which they aspire to hold themselves.

“What we must decide is perhaps how we are valuable,

rather than how valuable we are.”

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

In my last post, we began to explore how we consciously or unconsciously act in ways that keep us from leading from our true source of power. We have differentiated animating genius – or that which is divinely inspired, from our shadow – or that side of us that leads us to take action we perceive is necessary to ensure success.

In this post, we will look at the ways in which our shadows can sabotage our leadership.

One of the areas that is greatly impacted by the self promoting and self protecting mechanisms of the shadow is our ability to exert influence. The shadow, seeking validation from others, might be inclined to go to great lengths to win the respect, approval or acceptance of others.

Rather than gaining respect from people as a result of who they are, as animating genius would have them do, they jump to the conclusion that who they are is not enough, and immediately set out to scheme what they can do to win people over.

Of course, people eventually see through this. It dilutes the power of a leader, because it is not truly power at all – the good, sustaining stuff that comes from animating genius.

“The ancestor of every idea is a thought.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The call to leadership takes different forms for different people. For some it will mean being at the helm of a large organization or community; for others it might be leading a small team. We often think of formal roles in management or supervision when we hear the word “leadership.”

But there are countless others out there who are leaders in their own right that do not bear a title such as supervisor, manager, director, or vice president. There are teachers. There are parents. There are coaches. There are artists, writers, musicians, entrepreneurs, visionaries, community leaders, and people within large and small organizations that are centers of influence.

The one thing each of these people have in common is the desire to bring something into the world for, with, and through others. Many of us spend a good part of our lives trying to define what this “something” is. The roads we take to find it contain a number of twists and turns and the signs are not always clear.

But something within us spurs us on through all the trials and tribulations, through the fog and the clouds, to keep at it. There are clues everywhere and though the search often takes us outside of ourselves, the answers reside deep within. They are a part of the divine inspiration contained within our animating genius.

In my next series of posts we will begin to explore how these answers come to light for us and what we can do to make the most of this process.

Unleash the Extraordinary!

Diane Bolden

I believe the good news is we do not have to know precisely what it is we have come into the world to create. And we certainly do not need to have all the answers around how these creations will come about.

We simply need to pay attention and identify the kind of things that repeatedly catch our attention.

What is it that you are stirred to do right now? Who are the people that you feel drawn to? What kind of subjects interest you?

What books call out to you in the book store? What movies do you tend to enjoy? What are the themes around these things?

When you envision yourself as successful, what does that mean to you? Who are you surrounded by? How are you feeling? And what are the contributions you have made to others?

Unleash the Extraordinary!

Diane Bolden

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.

Who looks outside dreams, who looks inside, awakens!”

~ Carl Jung

In Native American cultures, young adults are sent on vision quests. These rituals involve sending the youth on a journey, packed with provisions that allow basic needs to be met. Instructions are simply to wander around and find a place that calls to them. Upon doing so, further direction is simply to sit and reflect. The belief behind this is that we do not necessarily need to actively find our vision. When we quiet ourselves and pay attention, our visions find us.

“The future enters into us, in order to transform itself in us, long before it happens.”

~ Rainer Maria Wilke

It has been said that there is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come. But these ideas enter into us long before they are ready to be brought into the world. They prepare us, transform us, and lead us through a myriad of experiences that allow us to develop what we need in order to manifest them.

These experiences are not always pleasant. We suffer disappointments, setbacks, frustrations. During times like these it is easy to feel as though life would be just fine as soon as these turbulences subside. But what if these little disturbances are the very things we need in order to breathe life into these visions that lie within us?

How many of the worlds great healers once experienced some kind of malady that they needed to overcome on their own before they had what it took to help others through the same challenge? How many people transcended their suffering by finding meaning in it and then when on to help others do the same?

Unleash the Extraordinary!

Diane Bolden

© blog posts copyright 2007 Diane Bolden. All rights reserved.

“Sometimes what’s in the way is the way.”

- Eckharte Tolle

If your journey as a leader will require you to exercise courage, you may find yourself in several situations that scare the hell out of you. If it requires you to show compassion, you may find yourself in situations where you must learn to transform your anger into something more constructive. You will continue to draw to yourself the experiences you need to develop what is required to bring your vision into the world. The blessing and the curse in all of this is that those experiences will continue to present themselves until you finally learn the things you need to learn.

“It is our choices that show what we truly are,

far more than our abilities.”

~ J.K. Rowling in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

I believe there are three major prerequisites to leadership: courage, honesty, and service.

We must take action in spite of our fear, be honest about our role in each and every situation, and find a way to use our unique talents and gifts to serve someone other than, or in addition to ourselves.

We must learn to look beyond those things that appear to inconvenience and trouble us to realize that we have drawn them to us to teach us that which we most need to learn.

“It is essential to distinguish between events that are really beyond

your control and events you caused yourself.”

~ Barbara Sher

There is an interesting duality to leadership.

On one hand, we need to be willing to acknowledge that there is something greater than ourselves to which we are connected, that breathes life into us and illuminates our path. It is important to learn to trust this guidance and be willing to receive its inspiration.

On the other hand, we must also take responsibility for own experiences.

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

~ M. Gandhi

When we defer responsibility for our own actions to others, we conveniently excuse ourselves of any need to change. After all, it wasn’t our fault. This places us in a victimization mode that is seductively destructive.

We can rationalize all kinds of behavior this way and never feel the need to hold ourselves accountable. And because we never feel the need to change, we will remain stagnant.

This obviously has implications for each one of us as individuals. But consider also the impact it has on those we lead, who look up to us as examples and who emulate the behavior of the “one in charge.”

“We can do more good by being good, than in any other way.”

- Rowland Hill

Driving into work this morning, I went to make a right turn and I couldn’t help but notice the people in each of the cars lined up to turn left.

One woman had a forlorn expression, and her head drooped over her steering wheel. The woman in the car behind her revealed a smile and an upward glance that seemed full of joy and anticipation. The face of the man in the car behind her was twisted up and his shoulders appeared to be close to his ears. His eyes were locked onto his blackberry, which he held in his free hand.

I smiled as I realized that I could relate to each of these people. I could have been any of them at any given time. And then the thought occurred to me that I could be any one of them today.

Which would I choose?

“Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s seeing the possibility

of your demise and doing your work anyway.”

~ Ronit Herzfeld in Fast Company

Anytime you make a decision to go out of your comfort zone, to do something that is new or unusual for you, you will most likely experience a tinge of fear, hesitation, or anxiety. This fear may lead you to question your ability, your likelihood of succeeding, and the possibility of your demise – whatever that may mean for you. It is essential to realize that this fear is a part of your journey as a leader.

“Doubt whom you will, but never yourself.”

~ Christian Nestell Bovee

Having faced our fear and moved forward in spite of it, the experience may be positive or negative. Regardless of the outcome, we must acknowledge the progress we have made. If our experience is less than desirable, we can evaluate it and learn from it. Having had the experience, we are wiser for it – far more than we would be if we simply continued to contemplate taking that leap or safely learn from the experience of others instead. And if we are successful, we can build on this experience and use it as a platform for further growth.

There will always be an abundance of people who will tell you why things cannot be done, what there is to fear, and why it is just not worth the risk. Let them speak, but do not be swayed by their doubt. It is based on their own experience of the world, not yours.

“Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.”

~ Dr. Michael McGriffy

When was the last time someone caught you off guard with a piece of feedback or a message that felt like an attack? How did you respond?

If it took you by surprise, chances are for a moment you may have lost your balance, moving either away from the bearer of the message, or toward him or her (literally or figuratively). If you leaned away, in an effort to avoid conflict or to crawl inside your comfort zone, you may have withheld your point of view or any response for that matter. If you leaned forward, you may have thrust your point of view upon the other in a way that was more like a counter attack than a response. Or perhaps you accommodated and sacrificed your own needs in order to maintain harmony. Either way, you fell away from your center – your true place of power.

“A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man

contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.”

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Have you ever walked by a building under construction and been curious about what was being built? Perhaps there were people working diligently, each focusing on their own specific task. Maybe there were steel girders, half constructed walls, and unidentifiable objects at some stage of completion.

At first glance, it may appear chaotic and messy. But amidst the sawdust and cement blocks there is a structure and an order that pulls it all together. Though we may not know exactly what is being built, over time the construction begins to take shape and we start to recognize a room here, and another there. And then we may begin to surmise the purpose and function of each room.

As the walls are plastered and the paint is applied, the appearance becomes neater. And suddenly, it is completed in all its glory – a stunning compilation of raw materials, sweat, and focused action.

“The key thing to remember is not that we need to be fast but that
we are running a race that has no finish line. So the fuel that
drives usneeds to be made of something substantial –
something for the heart that the head can also follow.”

~ Vincent Kralyevich, President, Videoschoolhouse

There seem to be two very distinct forms of motivation that propel people to do the things that they do. One of them is sort of a pull, and the other is more of a push.

I believe that those things that are most aligned with our own unique blueprint – that which we were put on this earth to achieve – are endeavors that we tend to be passionate about and often inexplicably drawn to. When we work toward a vision to create something for the greater good and to utilize our God given talents to bring it into the world, we experience immense satisfaction, gratification, and joy. And, we tend to attract others who are motivated to partner with us in some way.

When was the last time you stretched yourself? I mean literally, physically stretched yourself?

It wasn’t that long ago that I had trouble touching my toes. I started doing yoga, and in one of the classes I attended we were asked to bend our bodies in a somewhat unusual way. The instructor effortlessly folded herself in half while I leaned slightly forward and came to an abrupt halt. It wasn’t really pain that I experienced as much as plain old discomfort. I wanted this part of the class to be over.

“Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit.”

~ Henry B. Adams

Like many, I was brought up to think that things happened in a linear way - first this, then that, one building block upon another in a specific order, cause and effect. I have since realized that when one has a larger vision and experiences this vision as though it has already happened, a chain of events is triggered that results in what may appear to be a disjointed series of events that is in reality very connected.

Can you recall a time when you were in your zone?

Things seemed to come together seamlessly – you knew exactly what needed to be said and done in any given moment, and found yourself able to perform smoothly and skillfully. Perhaps in this zone you experienced a flow where successes seemed to follow each other and even pave the way for future experiences with similar outcomes. The right people lined up to help you. Resources became available –even where obtaining them previously seemed unrealistic. And the results you were able to achieve surpassed everyone’s greatest expectations, including your own.

If you have had this kind of experience, you may find yourself wondering how to duplicate it regularly. If you haven’t, you may question whether such a “zone” is even possible.

“Insist on yourself. Never imitate. Every great man is unique.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I came across an article in the Harvard Business Review reporting results of a study they did that confirmed something over thousands of studies that came before it had also suggested: research has failed to produce the profile of an ideal leader. This means that there is no seven step process. It also suggests that while one person’s path of leadership was ideal for him or her, it does not logically follow that the same path would be good for another.

The debate rages on over whether leaders are born or made. I believe the answer to that question is yes. They are both. I think we are all brought into this world with the makings of something extraordinary in us. What we choose to do to develop and apply that potential is up to each of us.

“As a man’s real power grows and his knowledge widens,

ever the way he can follow grows narrower: until at last he

chooses nothing, but does only and wholly what he must do.”

~ Ursula le Guin

The call to lead is often ushered in by a period of discomfort, where one slowly begins to realize the outer world does not match the inner one. We may begin to feel a sort of incongruence which ushers in a time of increased awareness about the course of events and what it is all for. A greater purpose looms in the background, but the way things are set up doesn’t quite allow that vision to live. And so it is time for a change.

Some call this an awakening. Others call it a crisis. It is a doorway to greater meaning and contribution, and the beginning of a transformation that happens from the inside out.

“Words are chameleons which reflect the color of their environment.”

~ Learned Hand

Early in my career, I taught many classes and workshops designed to give people a step by step process for having difficult conversations, whether that be to provide feedback, resolve a conflict, or simply raise a point. It was not uncommon to have people in my classes (myself included) who despite already knowing the steps I was teaching, still had difficulty applying them.

Over the years, I have realized that to make any kind of lasting change, we need to go deeper than simply knowing the sequence of behaviors necessary to achieve success. First of all, the scripts I used to advocate sounded canned and flat when they were words that my participants wouldn’t normally say in the course of their everyday conversations. Those words were also very easily forgotten, especially since they did not really belong to the person speaking them.

“Whatever you do in this life, take time to sit quietly and let
the world tell you what it needs from you. Take a moment
to honestly understand what your gifts are – you all have them.
The way you choose to live your life brings meaning to your life.

~ Ann Reed

It is amazing to me the number of people in this world who stay in jobs that they are miserable doing. They often rationalize that they must make the best of it, but in refusing to consider the options right before them, they may not even realize what the “best” is.

“Do not attempt to do a thing unless
you are sure of yourself; but do not relinquish it
simply because someone else is not sure of you.”

~ Steward E. White

Why is it that most people tend to put far greater weight on the negative feedback they receive than they do the positive? Others may compliment us throughout the day or week and their words often never really penetrate. They are easily dismissed or downplayed. But when there is criticism, it’s as though our very pores open up and little hands come out of them eagerly gripping the words as they fall off another’s tongue.

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.

~ Walt Disney

Last week, I had the enchanting experience of going to Disneyland with my kids for their fall break. It was like stepping into a different world, one where the stresses and anxieties of the previous week simply melted away and the child in me emerged. I was swept away by every intricate detail that was so carefully attended to by the myriad of people that make Disneyland what it is – from the towering castles and belly dropping rides to the placement of each flowering plant and the energy and appearance of every cast member.

Have you ever found yourself wondering about how you could make a bigger impact through your work? Perhaps reaching more people, creating something that has greater significance, or simply bringing more of who you really are to what you do?

I have reached a point in my career where that question has become increasingly important. After working with executives over the last sixteen years, both individually and collectively, I feel compelled to pass along what I and others have learned about overcoming their own self imposed obstacles and achieving higher levels of performance and satisfaction. And I want to do it in a way that reaches more people than what I have been able to do before.

In my work with executives and other rising leaders over the years, I have noticed that regardless of background, career, organization, position, cultural origin or gender, the challenges that people often struggle most with are self imposed. We may not realize this at first, but upon deeper exploration we can begin to see how the roots of people’s greatest pitfalls are firmly planted in the fertile soil of their own minds.

Challenges will present themselves regardless of what we do, but the way we think about and frame those challenges will largely determine our level of effectiveness in dealing with them. Often people are largely unaware of how they are contributing to their own ineffectiveness.

In my last post, I introduced the idea that we often stumble into pitfalls that are created or exacerbated by our own behavior and thought. In many ways, you could say that we unintentionally set up traps that keep us from doing our best work. The problem with these traps is that they are hidden and easily missed. Chances are you have been falling into one or more of them for a very long time without even realizing it. We all do. And once we make progress with them, they tend to find ways to elevate themselves to new levels – we are always learning and growing. So the first step is to begin to cultivate awareness. You cannot fix what you do not realize needs to be changed.

Who are the leaders you admire most? As you think back to people who made the biggest impact on you over the years, who comes to your mind? Perhaps it is someone you reported to, or the head of an organization you are familiar with. Or maybe it is a historical figure that you hold as a role model or a present day leader you’ve never actually met before. It could even be a coach or a mentor from sometime in your life, possibly even a parent or teacher.

What are the qualities in those people that really stand out for you? What differentiates them as exemplary in your mind? Chances are it wasn’t necessarily what they’ve done over the years as much as who they are and what they stand for. And you are likely drawn to those people because they possess qualities that are also in you at some level. The leaders you admire have probably allowed these qualities to express themselves in the world in some way that enabled them to make a difference.

In my last post, I asserted that the leaders we admire most have qualities in them that we possess ourselves at some level. Though these qualities may be latent, they are just as real and waiting for us to give them expression in the world.

The dynamic at play that suggests that we admire those who are most like us also works in reverse. If you pay attention to people who really annoy and frustrate you, you may realize that something in them is also sparking its counterpart in you. I have had many clients who become quite annoyed at their colleagues, direct reports, bosses, customers, friends, or family members because these people do not seem to be listening to them. When we feel we are not being heard by others, most of us have the tendency to talk more. We end up displaying the very behavior that is frustrating us in other people. If we are not careful, this can become a vicious cycle – one in which we can conveniently excuse ourselves from the need for change while we wait for others to “do it first.”

“It is always amazing how many of the things we do
will never be missed. And nothing is less productive than
 to make more efficient what should not be done at all.”

~ Peter F. Drucker

One day I had the opportunity to listen to Marshall Goldsmith, one of America’s finest executive coaches speak. Though the man has a number of incredibly insightful things to say on any given moment, one thing he said that day made an impact on me that I still feel years later. The audience was eager to benefit from his wisdom. He took the stage and paused a moment before speaking. Then he told us to hold onto our seats while he told us something we probably didn’t want to hear.

When you hear the word leader, what do you think of?

My definition of a leader is quite simple: someone who sees and brings out the best in others and focuses each person’s unique talent, energy, style and passion to facilitate the creation of something extraordinary. Leaders are everywhere, and many of them are not in positions of authority.

Leaders have a following of their own, and the most effective of them garner this following more as a product of who they are than what they do. In the presence of a great leader, we ourselves feel great. And when we truly believe in ourselves, there is nothing we cannot do.

Leaders do not need to be at the forefront to serve in this way. In fact, some of the most effective leaders are those who are more concerned about elevating the status of others than raising their own. Lao Tzu, one of the greatest mystics of all time said “When the best leader's work is done the people say, "We did it ourselves."

One of my first posts, “The Who of a Leader,” was written to affirm that great leaders stand out more for who they are than what they do. Central to this idea is the notion of authenticity, or behaving in ways that are true to your own unique style, talents, and energy.

I received a comment on this post from a man named Jeffrey. He said, “I really enjoyed this post… The worst thing I think a leader can do is not be genuine. When leaders imitate or fake sincerity they are not being genuine and few things will bring quicker ruin than this. Respect from others is lost and others will be closed to you.”

Jeffrey, I wholeheartedly agree. One of the most powerful things leaders can do is connect with people. This is critical as one of the most significant functions of a leader is to accomplish things through others. This cannot take place if there is no bond.

What is that compels people to want to be leaders?

Many people are attracted to leadership positions because of the level of visibility and prestige they generate. Others become leaders because these positions often yield higher salaries. And some just like to be in charge. Usually these are not the sole motivations for leaders, though there are some exceptions. The most effective of leaders have other more significant motivating factors – the desire to serve and make a greater impact for example. And the best of these leaders are able to keep their egos from dominating their leadership.

In my last post, I introduced the notion that our egos left unchecked can propel us to act in ways that are not congruent with who we really are and ultimately weaken the impact and contribution we can make as leaders. In this post, we will explore one of the ego needs that is common to many leaders: the need for power.

Some people have a higher need for power than others do. People who tend to be driven toward action with a strong task orientation tend to identify more with this need than do others. They are prone to want to get things done (right now, or sooner) and feel they need a little extra kick to do so. Often, they rely on their authority or position to make mandates or demands.

In previous posts, I introduced the notion that our egos left unchecked can propel us to act in ways that are not congruent with who we really are and ultimately weaken the impact and contribution we can make as leaders. The last post explored the need for power, and today we will explore another of the ego needs that is common to many leaders: the need for control.

The need for control is very similar to the need for power, as it there is an element in there of wanting people to do what you say. However, control goes much deeper than this. It is about wanting to orchestrate entire chains of events and make things work out the way you think they should more often than not. People who fall prey to this ego need disdain chaos and often take their love of order to an extreme by trying to order things around them in a way that can generate a predictable result.

In previous posts, I introduced the notion that our egos left unchecked can propel us to act in ways that are not congruent with who we really are and ultimately weaken the impact and contribution we can make as leaders. The last post explored the need for control, and today we will explore another of the ego needs that is common to many leaders: the need for approval.

The need for approval is closely linked to a need to be liked, or even loved. When we seek this validation from others, we often engage in behavior that takes us away from who we really are in our efforts to become what we believe others want us to be. The need for approval is something that has been with many of us since childhood. From a very young age, many of us are brought up to do things in order to please others, and the rewards we get (inclusion, accolades, affection, etc.) reinforce the idea that we can actually act in ways that allow us to be more or less liked based on what we do rather than who we are.

In previous posts, I introduced the notion that our egos left unchecked can propel us to act in ways that are not congruent with who we really are and ultimately weaken the impact and contribution we can make as leaders. The last post explored the need for approval, and today we will explore another of the ego needs that is common to many leaders: the need for prestige.

The need for prestige is often another form of approval, only in mass quantities. Like the need for approval, it is somewhat rooted in a feeling of inadequacy that leads people to prove to themselves and others that they really are “someone”. It is easy to get lured into and swept away by the star appeal that people in high places generate. Many do not start out seeking this kind of reinforcement. Despite initially being taken aback by it, they can become intoxicated with it over time.

Every time we learn something new, we strive to get to that point where we are able to do it naturally – without having to think too much about what we are doing. And when we finally hit that stage it is nice to settle into a groove. These grooves can be very productive when we are applying new skills and ways of doing things to challenging endeavors. But when these grooves keep us from moving forward and stretching ourselves they can become counterproductive.

If we allow ourselves to stay in our comfort zones too long, over time we will resist anything that could represent a change in equilibrium. The problem with staying in equilibrium is that everything around us is in a constant flux of change. We need to continually reevaluate whether our ways of doing things are aligned with the results we want to produce.

I often conduct 360 feedback interviews for my coaching clients, which entails interviewing an assortment of people including their bosses, employees, customers, and peers to find out what the client’s perceived strengths and areas of opportunity are. It almost never fails that the areas that get in the way of people’s effectiveness and continued success are in some way strengths overdone.

The best listeners often get so wrapped up in passively listening to others that they forget to talk or to bring their views to the forefront. Those who have the admirable quality of being direct and letting others know where they stand can fall prey to delivering messages with a little too much force and not enough tact. Optimism can become naiveté, and realism can become pessimism. Thinking big can lead to overlooking the details, and those who are known for their precision are often criticized for missing the bigger picture.

We make sense out of the world by telling ourselves stories about what is going on. These stories are based on what we have learned over the years through our various experiences. They are colored by our perceptions, knowledge, values, fears, and biases. In the absence of data, our brains tend to fill in the gaps based on what has happened to us before. And when we come to a conclusion about something, we tend to take in information that confirms what we believe and screen everything else out.

We are going to continue to create these stories no matter what. It is a part of being human. The trouble comes when we take our stories too seriously and are unwilling to entertain that perhaps there are pieces of the puzzle we do not know about. When someone does something, or shows up in a way that triggers old memories or associations, our stories begin to build. We then act as though they are true and often elicit the very behavior we do not want to see (which becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.)

This blog post features an excerpt of a special report called “Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Set for Themselves ~ and How to Avoid Them” (valued at $47) that I am giving away to anyone who is willing to take the time to complete a brief survey to help me determine people’s most significant leadership challenges. To get your free report, go to http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=saAAJEMZHUw6ptu39axnsw_3d_3d . In appreciation of your participation, I’ll also send you a free audio briefing on The Seven Secrets of Extraordinary Leaders ($47 value). As a bonus, you’ll also receive and a one year subscription to Synchronistically Speaking ($197 value) which features an executive briefing on a different leadership challenge each month.

This blog post features another excerpt of a special report called “Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Set for Themselves ~ and How to Avoid Them” (valued at $47) that I am giving away to anyone who is willing to take the time to complete a brief survey to help me determine people’s most significant leadership challenges. To get your free report, go to http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=saAAJEMZHUw6ptu39axnsw_3d_3d

In appreciation of your participation, I’ll also send you a free audio briefing on The Seven Secrets of Extraordinary Leaders ($47 value). As a bonus, you’ll also receive and a one year subscription to Synchronistically Speaking ($197 value) which features an executive briefing on a different leadership challenge each month.

Early in my career, I would get requests from leaders to come and help them “fix” their organizations. “My people need to learn to work better together,” they would tell me. And I would go about interviewing these people to find out what was going on. I asked them questions about what was working and what was not, what they thought needed to be changed, and what other insights they had.

This blog post features yet another excerpt of a special report called “Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Set for Themselves ~ and How to Avoid Them” (valued at $47) that I am giving away to anyone who is willing to take the time to complete a brief survey to help me determine people’s most significant leadership challenges. To get your free report, go to http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=saAAJEMZHUw6ptu39axnsw_3d_3d

In appreciation of your participation, I’ll also send you a free audio briefing on The Seven Secrets of Extraordinary Leaders ($47 value). As a bonus, you’ll also receive and a one year subscription to Synchronistically Speaking ($197 value) which features an executive briefing on a different leadership challenge each month.

Like attracts like. This is one of the basic laws of physics, and it has become much more commonly referred to in the last few years. Other ways of saying this are you get what you focus on, or whatever you focus on will expand.

When we become aware of a condition that we wish to improve, whether that be our state of mind, a person’s behavior, or a state of affairs, we must be very careful that we do not overly identify with the problem versus the solution. It is one thing to be dissatisfied with a current state and quite another to immerse yourself in it.

This blog post features an excerpt of a special report called “Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Set for Themselves ~ and How to Avoid Them” (valued at $47) that I am giving away to anyone who is willing to take the time to complete a brief survey to help me determine people’s most significant leadership challenges. To get your free report, go to http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=saAAJEMZHUw6ptu39axnsw_3d_3d

In appreciation of your participation, I’ll also send you a free audio briefing on The Seven Secrets of Extraordinary Leaders ($47 value). As a bonus, you’ll also receive and a one year subscription to Synchronistically Speaking ($197 value) which features an executive briefing on a different leadership challenge each month.

Working too hard is one of the toughest pitfalls to overcome for the simple fact that so many people see it as an attribute. Many of us are brought up to believe that the harder we work, the more we will accomplish and that the busier we are, the more important we must be. We are conditioned to see inactivity as laziness and the need for rest and relaxation as a sign of weakness. But a frenetic pace can suck the very life out of you. And without life, there is no true leadership.

Are you one of the many people who HATE performance planning?

Many organizations have processes and templates for setting goals and targets for the year. Any many people go through the motions each time, scribbling something in the lines, checking the boxes and filing forms into a drawer where they remain until the end of the year when it is time for appraisals. My experience is that many people do not particularly enjoy the performance management process. In addition to giving people feedback on less than ideal performance, filling out paperwork on targets and goals tends to be a most universally dreaded task.

But what if it were more than filling out forms and checking boxes? What if there were a way to transcend the paperwork and use the time to work with people to envision targets and developmental goals that made their work, and their lives while doing this work, more meaningful and satisfying?

I strongly believe that the CEO is more than a leader that tackles business issues they are superheroes.

People want to follow a CEO Superhero who attracts people and makes things happen! They want someone who has bold dreams, is a visionary, and an innovator. The CEO has charisma and is a relationship/team builder. This leader never lets up and has the amazing ability to turn today’s problems into tomorrow’s profits. The enthusiastic and energetic CEO is able to hire and retain the best employees and win customer loyalty—both important to the success of the company. This leader can feel the customer’s pain and find a solution. Taking risks, and being stock market savvy to bring financial success to the company are skills that top notch CEOs have.

Let’s take a glimpse into the talents of some amazing CEOs. These talented CEO superstars are SUPERHEROES! Every company wants a Superhero.

CEO Superheroes have skills that make them stand out above the conventional leader. Here are seven Superhero traits that set an excellent CEO apart from a merely good one.

1. Visionary

2. Innovator

3. Charismatic

4. Chief Problem Solver

5. Employee Motivator

6. Customer Loyalty Builder

7. Relentless

Let's look at traits one through four today.

1. VISIONARY

Today we will finish looking at traits five through seven of the seven traits of a CEO Superhero.

5. EMPLOYEE MOTIVATOR

A CEO Superhero knows how to manage talented people effectively and generate high levels of performance from them. Communication is a key to keeping employees informed. Attractive and unique benefits are provided to employees thus enabling the company to maintain the best employees.

John Chambers of Cisco Systems has a Blog to communicate with employees to encourage employee ideas.

Jerry Yang of Yahoo Inc., hosts monthly Chat’n Chow lunches and answers employee questions online.

Jack Welch, former GE CEO said, “Hire the best and then support them through thick and thin, through failure and success.” The people he hired were people who understood how to think outside the box, people who were creative, energetic and had a vision, and who are willing to turn visions into reality.

Toyota spends a lot of time and effort to support their employees. Employees are considered their most important asset.

Wachovia, one of the nation’s largest diversified financial services companies, is recognized as one of the top 10 best companies for working mothers by Working Mother magazine. Wachovia not only offers essential benefits like flextime and telecommuting—they raised the bar by offering programs and policies for childcare, leave for new parents, opportunities for women to advance, work/life benefits such as elder care and other employee programs.

It would be hard to surpass the benefits that the 12,000 employees receive at the Four Seasons hotels. Isadore Sharp, founder and CEO of the chain says, “How you treat your employees is how you expect them to treat the customers.” In fact at the new hotel that opened up in Hawaii they received 25,000 applications for 600 positions BEFORE it opened in 2006!

They contribute 3% of an employee’s salary to their 40l(K) and another 3-5% to profit sharing. All employees regardless of rank break bread together, free, in the hotel cafeteria. The food is good, and they have staff showers and locker rooms. Everyone is treated like they are someone special. The company provides managers from within and they can offer an employee the world with hotels all over the world. The staff is happy, well cared for, and safe. They feel like they are family and they treat their customers the same way.

6. CUSTOMER LOYALTY BUILDER

According to the New York Times, February 13, 2008 issue, Gary Kelly, CEO from Southwest Airlines, dressed up like a woman. He walked into the office looking like the mother from the movie Hairspray, just to have fun and make the employees laugh. He was continuing the custom of making the airline a fun place to work.

Southwest has raised fares, packs more people onto airplanes, has passengers line up and board by numbers and consequently this is a lot of hard work for the employees. Mr. Kelly’s dress-up routine is just one of many ways the company put a little fun into the work environment.

“Many times,” Mr. Cerf, the Southwest union officer said, “You have to work fast. Workers who come to Southwest Airlines after being laid up by other airlines often quit. They are not use to working that hard.”

Southwest believes that “fun translates into a lot of productivity.” It has the industry’s highest wages, but because of efficient work habits its costs are the lowest among the big airlines.

Mr. Kelly knows how to have fun at work, yet many companies do not do this. Board meetings and decision-making are important, yet how employees are treated is important too.

I would like to share with you seven reasons why many companies do not excel, or profits and productivity are low.

1. In my experience, many people will do just what they are told and no more. They are not motivated to do anything else.

2. They do not know what their talent is or how to use it.

3. Lack of training.

In my previous post I shared with you seven reasons companies do not excel and why productivity and profits could be low.

In this post I will share with you nine ideas to bring fun back into the workplace.

Here are a few ideas to get you started.

1. First, the CEOs must reinvent themselves. Stop being serious all the time. Wear a bright color tie that might have a fun print on it. Then employees will have something fun to talk about. Practice facial expressions just like actors do. Practice smiling and laughing and it brings passion to the people. Nod with a smile. Maintain eye contact with the people you are talking to. Give a sincere smile and appreciation to others. Say, “Wow!” “I like it.” “You are amazing.” “I’m impressed.” “Can you tell me more?” When you say that, how do you feel? Your praise is giving direct positive impact to your employee.

Practice humor every day. Tell a joke.

For example, three people went out to lunch. On the way to the restaurant they stopped at an antique shop. They saw an old lamp.

The first one, an accountant, rubbed the lamp by accident. A genie came out. “I’m a genie and I can give each of you one wish.” So account said, “Send me to Hawaii. I want to lay down o the beach in the sun and drink unlimited amount of Margaritas.” Whoosh! He’s gone.

Second one, Product Manager, said, “Send me to Florida. I want to spend everyday at Disney World and play, play, play.” Whoosh! He’s gone.

Third one was a CEO. He rubbed the lamp and he told the genie, “My wish is bring the two guys back to the office as soon as possible. There’s a deadline and I need them.”

This is a business joke. People understand and laugh. They would be delighted with you to share a joke like that.

Are you positive and looking on the bright side every day?

Is optimism a part of your company culture?

Do you have a good sense of humor during the day?

If you do, then you are an optimistic leader like many Silicon Valley companies. You are an adventurous, fun leader. You know how to take an element of risk to have a FUN Management company.

You recharge yourself everyday with positive thoughts. You surround yourself with like-minded people. You take action. You are moving and full of energy.

Sometimes you get stuck in the mud. You accept it as part of the excitement and you figure out a way to get out and move on. You have outside mentors that can help you with new ideas when you get stuck. You are always optimistic about the future of the company because you trust your employees and know they will do the right thing.

You know how to visualize your great future and how to bring your company to the best level. You do visualize at least five times a day your great goals.

In parts one and two of Optimism Begins With the Leader, I shared with you about how leadership can help a company thrive even after hardships. In today's post I want to share with you some more leadership success stories.

Would you like your company to be voted “The Best Company to Work For?”

That honor has been given to the company, QUICKEN LOANS, for three years in a row by COMPUTERWORLD magazine.

Quicken loans, the nation’s largest online retail mortgage loan lender, based in Michigan, has 5,000 employees. The company hires 300 employees PER MONTH for their growing company!

The leaders in the company encourage their employees to be open-minded. Chief Information Officer, Frank Laura, knows that optimism leads to creativity and new ideas.

Team members love working for the company because they have the ability to take ownership in projects and work collaboratively with others from across the company. They love the fact that they can take responsibility for their projects.

CIO Laura tells us that the 360 teams in the technology group know all facets of the business.He says…

"We challenge them to dig deep, looking for things that can be improved upon, from the client's perspective. I think they derive a lot of satisfaction in building solutions internally, and in knowing what they do makes a difference to the company and our clients."

Chairman and Founder, Dan Gilbert, says… “Quicken Loans has created an entrepreneurial spirit that encourages and rewards creativity and innovation.”

The leaders recognize great ideas. It doesn’t matter whether it came from the CIO or the newest person on the team, they run with it. They are obsessed with finding a better way.

The company's culture provides the greatest sense of job satisfaction.

In my past three threads, I have shared some great leadership success stories about two companies, Quicken Loans and Odwalla.

Today let's discuss what we can learn from the stories of Odwalla and Quicken.

It pays to be optimistic. Don’t give into the negative when a crisis happens. Stay optimistic. Keep your mind open to new possibilities. Share your ideas with your employees. Ask for their suggestions.

An optimistic leader keeps communication open. He/she encourages everyone to brainstorm and share his or her ideas.

Top companies reward their employees for a job well done. Employees like to be empowered and get recognition as a team player for their achievements. They like to feel the sense of fulfillment and know that their leaders are aware of the contribution they have given to the company.

Young talented students looking for their first job in America want to work for dynamic Silicon Valley companies because they say they are FUN companies to work for. They tend to avoid companies that have the old traditional management style. Soon I believe that many Korean companies will have the same issues.

A year ago I interviewed some of the employees at Google. Google is a terrific model for FUN Management.

Here are ten comments that Google employees shared with me as to why they LOVE to work for Google.

1. “I get up in the morning looking forward to coming to work.”

2. “I came out of early retirement so I could work for Google.”

3. “I haven’t yet met anyone at Google who is complaining or bitter.”

4. “I am interviewing for FUN people to come to this team.”

5. “The founders, Larry and Sergei, created a work environment that was fun.”

In my last post I shared with you why FUN Management can be the best thing for your company's success.

Today I want to share how you can bring FUN back into your workplace and launch you to becoming a global leader.

Because your employees have a passion for their work, they will care about their customers; they will do their best. Your salespeople will not only sell your product, they will also do their best to maintain the reputation of your company. Your employees will keep your customers happy even after they sell their product. They will do follow-up calls, improve products and in general take initiative to keep your customers satisfied.

F.U.N. Management is also the only way you can communicate globally. If you learn F.U.N. Management it will prepare you to become a F.U.N. Management Global Leader. You will have a better understanding of how to develop good working relationships on a global level that will result in improved productivity and increased profits. Some other benefits that result from F.U.N. Management are:

1) People will begin to have confidence and believe that they can do well. You will have better communication with your people, and mistakes within the company will disappear or greatly reduce.

2) You will find it much easier to recruit the kind of people you want to have working for you if your company has a reputation for being a fun place to work at.

3) You will also find it easier to keep your employees. They like coming to work – why should they look for a better job elsewhere?

4) You will have a great relationship with society around you and it will be easier to do business.

Positive thinking is a great attitude to have and a healthy one.

I know some people who roll their eyes and scoff whenever anyone mentions positive thinking. They think optimism is childish and see cynicism as a mark of sophistication. You may think that way yourself, or, at the very least, I’m sure you know someone who does.

Well, that attitude could kill you! Studies have found that positive thinkers actually live longer than pessimists. Positive thinking can help with stress management. They are finding many healthy reasons to be a positive thinker.

Positive thinking is also a proven ingredient to professional success. In a University of Pennsylvania study, Dr. Martin Seligman in 1998 wrote an article entitled Learned Optimism and he found that insurance agents with a positive outlook sold 37 percent more insurance in the first two years than those with a negative outlook, and the pessimists were twice as likely to quit in the first year as were the optimists.

So, are you convinced yet?

The power of a positive attitude has been with me since I was a child thanks to my mom. She instilled in me at an early age that the power of a positive attitude would be an important attribute for me to have.

I got a chance to use that power of a positive attitude a year ago when I took a trip to the bookstore and a book caught my eye. As I leafed through the pages, I glanced at the publisher: Wiley. I had never heard the name before, but my book coach Joan told me that the company was a well-respected name in publishing. Since I now knew that the books they published were in my area of interest, I decided to use some positive thinking and send a book proposal to Wiley.

The next day, I flew to Dallas to speak at an American Society for Training & Development (ASTD) conference. I was busy practicing my speech when my co-speaker asked me to pick up something at her booth. I was running late, so I hurried through the booths, barely looking as I rushed passed. However, one sign caught my eye: Wiley. Intrigued at the sudden emergence of the name in my life, I decided to stop and chat with the booth attendants. Though there were a lot of people clustered around the booth, the attendants were polite and helpful. When I mentioned that I was thinking of publishing with them, they cheerfully directed me to the right person within the company, also standing at the booth.

Unique leaders have success bred in them. What does success mean to you? Do you give up when someone says NO to your idea? Is failure an option for you? I learned that unique leaders create their own success when I worked on a new idea to create a comic book.

For the past two years I have created and produced a multicultural education resources comic book for my cultural diversity training. First, people were excited that I decided to do this, but then they asked me, “How will you do it?” “How will you market it?” “Who is your reader?”

I knew that a multicultural education resources comic book would be a good cultural diversity training tool for my group because it is easy to understand and a fun way to learn a new concept.

The world is shrinking because of the Internet and media news, but peoples’ minds are still focused on their own country’s culture. A multicultural education resources comic book is a simple, way to communicate and help people learn and understand cultural diversity differences.

Even though I didn’t know how to do it, I knew I would get it done. I was passionate about the concept of multicultural diversity training through a comic book, and I was excited about learning a new field—comic book publishing.

First I created a storybook draft with actual experiences I had coming to America. My first business meeting where I had to speak English, then dining etiquette where I got invited to a dinner party, business card exchange manner, and what to wear to a business meeting.

Creativity on the job is needed for a successful operation. Yet, many managers do not know how to build creativity at work with their employees.

Managers value having creativity at work because those employees are known to be able to solve difficult problems, they work well with their co-workers and clients, and they contribute to the growth of the organization.

How do you bring out creativity on the job? How do you get those happy, innovative employees on your team?

I do know that during the past 20 years through working, reading and research I have learned that creativity on the job produces profits and happy, growing people.

The first step is to treat your employees as special and valuable contributors to the company. Let them know their contributions are important and that you encourage innovation and creativity on the job.

Here are some ways to bring out innovation and creativity on the job.

1. It’s okay to make mistakes. It brings out the creativity in people. Creativity comes from self-confidence. Let your employees learn from their mistakes.

2. Are you giving your employees an opportunity to meet other people and hear their stories? At Google in Silicon Valley they give their people enough time to meet other people and they get a chance to hear success stories from other departments and companies.

How do you build and maintain employee trust in the workplace?

When you have employee trust in an organization it is the foundation for effective communication, employee retention, and employee motivation. Employees are then more apt to put in more energy and extra effort in their work.

Employee trust is critical to the success of an organization. Wouldn’t you want to work for a trustworthy company with a trustworthy boss? Well, so do your employees. They are more willing to take thoughtful risks, able to rely on other co-workers and leaders, ability to co-operate and work as a team, and experience open communication.

Here are five ways that you can build employee trust.

1. Keep employees informed of new projects and opportunities. Everyone likes to be kept up to date as to what is going on in the company. It makes them feel more like they are part of a family.

Recently I spoke at a Beauty Supply Conference in St. Louis, Missouri. Many women business leaders attended. I was impressed with their success because for many of them English is their Second Language and they came from another country. These successful women business leaders didn’t have a lot of business experience in their country but when they came to America they adapted and were motivated to change.

In their new country they brought with them a strong survivor instinct. These women business leaders find ways to help their customer. It is their passion to help their customers. And they are able to communicate with the younger generation even though they have a different cultural background. Interesting thing is because they are women and so are their customers, they find the needs of their customers quickly.

These women business leaders work hard and long hours. Many of them believe working hard brings in the income. They are motivated to succeed. They believe in hard work is the success factor in their business.

Many of them are mothers. Many graduated from exclusive universities in their countries. They are passing on their work ethic to their children. The children see their parents working hard and they learn this work ethic from their parents.

The future looks promising for women who aspire to be leaders in business.

A study conducted by Caliper, a management consulting firm, assessed the personality traits of women leaders in 19 different business sectors in the U.S. and the United Kingdom. The study also included men in similar positions so that a comparison could be done.

It should be no surprise that men and women have different leadership styles. There were four traits in particular that stood out as most important for success for women in business. Those traits are: persuasive, assertive, emotionally intelligent, and an inclusive team-builder. Of the four, only assertiveness is not considered to be an inherent trait for women. And the other three, persuasiveness, emotional intelligence and inclusiveness, have traditionally meant weakness for male leaders.

But the nature of business is changing and leadership styles need to change too.

Assertiveness; when a man has it and uses it, people admire his strength. When a woman uses it she’s seen as a you-know-what and people are offended.

Of course there is a fine line between assertiveness and outright aggressiveness. Everyone, men included, need to learn where that line is and avoid stepping over it or risk alienating potential bosses, customers and friends.

Before I give you some tips about how to be assertive I want to talk about an article I read recently. It was written by a British journalist comparing Sarah Palin to Margaret Thatcher. According to this author there is no “shrillness” in Palin or Thatcher’s leadership style.

Ladies, have you ever heard your spouse say, “I can’t read your mind”?

A lot of communications problems are caused by trying to read people’s minds or expecting them to read yours. Problems like that can quickly sink a brilliant project or proposal in the business world. A good business leader is someone who can get people to respond to their ideas in a positive way. To do that you have to be able to say what your ideas are, say what you need to achieve them and say it in a way that doesn’t alienate people.

That means you have to be assertive. Here are some tips for achieving assertiveness.

Last time we were talking about the importance of assertiveness for success as a business leader. Anyone wanting to be a leader but lacking confidence and assertiveness skills will not be able to stand up for their interests.

Let’s get back to those steps for assertiveness.

Step 3 – Pay attention to how you say things.

In Step One I talked about how you need to be clear about what you want to say. How you say it is just as important. How you say something has an effect on how the person receiving the message responds to you. An assertive communicator will start sentences with “I feel” rather than “you should”. This keeps the focus on the problem at hand without pointing fingers and laying blame. If the person you are talking to feels they are being “attacked” they will not listen to what it is you are trying to say.

In my very first post in this series about personality traits for female business leaders I stated that four particular traits are ranked as most important. We’ve already talked about assertiveness. Today we’re going to talk about emotional intelligence.

Your emotional intelligence is how aware you are of your own feelings and whether or not you are able to handle them in an effective manner. A leader with emotional intelligence gains the support and loyalty of her team by paying attention to what’s going on in the group and addressing any personality conflicts that arise before they can destroy the project.

Research shows that a business leader who has a high emotional IQ has better interpersonal skills, can handle conflict, confrontation and aggression in others. Such a leader is also perceived as more stable, someone the team can rely on.

Today we continue are look at the personality traits common to successful female business leaders. I promised to share my recipe for emotional intelligence last time. There are basically four key “ingredients” and they were talked about in the book Primal Leadership, published in 2001.

Let’s start with the first two:

Self-awareness. We talked about this one last time. An emotionally intelligent leader is one who understands their own strengths and weaknesses. They are also in touch with their own emotions and are able to set those aside in order to lead with their heads and do what is best for their team.

We’re going to finish today with our look at emotional intelligence, one of the important personality traits a female business leader needs to possess and perfect.

Social Awareness. This is another personality trait that demonstrates a high emotional IQ in a female business leader. No matter the business you will probably be working with a group of people, whether they are employees, co-workers or clients. And when you get a group of people together you get an interesting mix of personalities. A socially aware leader notices the interplay between members of the group; who gets along with who, who has good ideas but is shy to express them.

Last time we were talking about the importance of assertiveness for success as a business leader. Anyone wanting to be a leader but lacking confidence and assertiveness skills will not be able to stand up for their interests.

Let’s get back to those steps for assertiveness.

Step 3 – Pay attention to how you say things.

In Step One I talked about how you need to be clear about what you want to say. How you say it is just as important. How you say something has an effect on how the person receiving the message responds to you. An assertive communicator will start sentences with “I feel” rather than “you should”. This keeps the focus on the problem at hand without pointing fingers and laying blame. If the person you are talking to feels they are being “attacked” they will not listen to what it is you are trying to say.

Step 4 – Take responsibility for your part in the problem.

Call it inclusive leadership, participatory management or inclusive decision making; it’s a leadership style and a personality trait that involves everyone in finding solutions to a problem. And, according to the study I mentioned in the first installment of this series, this is one of the strengths of successful female leaders.

How many of you dread company meetings?

We’re talking about how inclusive leadership as a personality trait will encourage and influence employee participation. A smart female business leader will benefit from incorporating this technique into her repertoire of tools.

And speaking of personality traits, it seems to be human nature to resist change, especially if it’s change we don’t understand. Long-term employees may resist because they’ve seen things come and go before and believe that this is just a fad too. Your role as the boss is to take the lead. If you’re consistent and genuine your employees will take their cues from you.

Female business leaders who use inclusive leadership excel at sharing information. And this doesn’t mean standing at a podium in the conference room. A formal meeting like that has its place but a boss who wants employee trust and respect will talk to them, face-to-face, in their offices and around the water cooler. Having an open office door policy is a good idea too. Encourage people to ask questions and openly discuss what is going on in the company.

Would it surprise you to learn that most people find it difficult to work as part of a group? We’re talking about inclusive leadership as a personality trait shared by successful female business leaders. Inclusive leadership means you work with your employees as a team. To be effective any team has to learn to work together while taking advantage of individual strengths.

Training is the key to putting together a team that will make any female business leader proud. There are two areas on which training should focus; collaborative decision making skills and company or industry specific expertise.

Attempts at collaborative decision making often result in conflict because individuals have different ideas and goals. The group needs to be taught the “rules”, such as defining the problem, brainstorming ideas, and picking the best solution. A smart female business leader knows the time spent learning these skills will pay off; your employees will enjoy the chance to improve their own personality traits!

Managers who aren’t really on-board think inclusive leadership is limited to a suggestion box by the photocopier. A smart female business leader knows there’s more to it than that. Good inclusive leadership programs begin with the manager being prepared to give up some control.

Yikes! Job security often seems to revolve around insecurity and the feeling that you must be incompetent if you turn to others for help. That’s not what inclusive leadership is about and insecurity is one personality trait you don’t want to have. You must approach it confident enough in your position that you can be open to ideas from others. That confidence might be another personality trait you want to cultivate in yourself.

Successful female business leaders give employees a say in final decisions. That is a big step and perhaps the pinnacle of a good inclusive leadership program. Sometimes just offering alternatives for the employees to choose from will reap the same benefits as having them come up with the alternatives themselves; motivation and job satisfaction grow. Some areas that you might allow employees to make decisions about include work schedules and budgeting for supplies and equipment.

For the last while I’ve been telling you about some personality traits that were identified in a survey as most important for successful female business leaders to possess. Today I’m talking about the art of persuasion.

According to the Caliper survey I mentioned in Part 1 of this series, females have to be more persuasive because they lack the physical presence of most men. That doesn’t mean that men impose their ideas on people, men can be very persuasive too. Women just have to be better to get the same results.

Effective female business leaders use persuasion to communicate in a way that inspires and motivates. Employees are happy to cooperate to get the job done and customers enjoy being a client. Persuasive leaders build trust by being honest.

Being persuasive should not be perceived as a sales job; people hate that! It makes them feel they are being tricked.

The last of the Four Personality Traits of Female Business Leaders, persuasive communication, has three components. Each of these components is effective on its own but taken together they make for an incredibly persuasive communicator. If you are a female in business you will want to keep reading!

1. Building Credibility. If employees or clients feel you don’t know what you’re talking about they will tune you out. People become managers for a variety of reasons; dumb luck, personal connections, they bought the store and because they can do the job.

Truly successful female business leaders keep their position because they have expertise and they have spent time building credibility.

A credible person is prepared and knows what they are talking about. Preparation also involves predicting possible objections and having believable answers.

This is the last of my installments about personality traits for successful female business leaders.

This last component is crucial for persuasive communication. If you can’t present your information in a way that people understand and that builds confidence your project or sale will never get off the ground. It won’t matter to them how much credibility you have or how much you have in common with your audience.

3. Develop a Compelling Position. Your reasons for making changes at work or for why a client should use your services have to make sense. Any successful business leader will have the facts straight and will be able to present them in a compelling way that is easy to understand.

I’ll use President Obama as an example again.

Have you ever tried to talk to someone who wasn’t listening? For a business manager trying to make your company or team as productive and successful as possible, that can be very frustrating. And it costs money. People who don’t pay attention make mistakes.

Sometimes it’s just as important for the person in charge to listen. Maybe you’ve had a conference call with an important client and, because you were trying to “multi-task”, you weren’t sure what you had agreed to when you hung up the phone. That kind of inattention causes embarrassment and it will affect the bottom line as well.

Active listening takes patience. Work schedules can be hectic and slowing down for a minute or two to really listen isn’t easy. Why should a manager care about having active listening skills? Shouldn’t the employees just do what they are told?

Do you have to be one or the other? What’s the difference?

There is a difference but truly successful people have qualities of both and can switch between leader and manager as the situation dictates.

Let’s say a report indicates that your company’s customer service performance has slipped. A manager books the conference room and sets up training “re-fresher” meetings to review company expectations with employees. A leader calls a meeting to talk to employees and motivates them to re-focus on customer service; two approaches that achieve the same outcome.

Managers are organized, goal-oriented problem solvers. A good manager analyses a situation, finds the best solution and works in that direction.

Managers and leaders think differently. That doesn’t mean you need a split personality to possess the traits of both. You do need some sharp self-awareness skills.

Do you have great ideas that excite people but find nothing gets very far?

Leaders like you thrive on challenge and get bored with routine. If you recognize this about yourself, you can temper that passion enough to develop some practical problem-solving strategies. Turning a good idea into a successful project requires the skills of a manager. A manager looks at available resources, comes up with a plan of action and implements it efficiently.

If you are a manager who focuses on cost analyses and inventory reports, you may not notice when employee morale is low. Even great managers need to get out of their offices everyday and mingle with the employees.

A business coach specializes in helping a business find its strengths and weaknesses; information that is used to make it stronger.

You may be thinking, “I’ve run my own business for years. I don’t need a business coach!” If that’s the case, skip reading this article and get back to more important work.

But if you want to improve your business, read on.

In my profession I encounter people who have been struggling along, trying to turn their businesses into a success. Most of them really drag their feet about hiring a professional like me. True, a business coach costs money but trust me, it pays off in the end.

Here are four things a business coach can do for you:

Get you organized. It’s amazing how much productivity time is lost due to lack of organization! A business coach can take your office from a disaster zone to one where the information you need is at your fingertips.

Dust off your marketing plan. Your business coach can help you assess the effectiveness of your marketing strategy. Is the targeted market getting your message or are you wasting money on the wrong type of promotion? Maybe you’re not even targeting the right demographic!

North America is in recession; many businesses will fail because they fail to weather the current instability. You may think hiring a business coach is money you can’t afford to spend. I believe you can’t afford not to hire a coach.

Here are four more things a business coach can do for you.

Networking. When you hire a business coach who specializes in your industry you get someone who knows people. New contacts increase your chances for new clients.

Find your niche. I talked last time about how a business coach can help you with your marketing plan. Are you targeting the right customers? Is there a population segment that would better suit your product? Even the best marketing plan will fail if you target the wrong customers. Your business coach can help you identify the perfect demographic for your product.

When was the last time you looked up and thought about something besides how long it was going to take to get to the bottom of all the paperwork on your desk?

As a business coach I help people find their business vision. When you hear “vision” you might picture a group of people in a boardroom, staring at blank sheets of paper, trying to come up with a vision or mission statement for the company. They are probably watching the clock and shifting around uncomfortably in their chairs, praying for a coffee break.

That kind of situation generates “lip-service” ideas that nobody really believes. Instead, you need a vision that fuels the passion you have for your business; a passion that is shared by employees.