“It is always amazing how many of the things we do
will never be missed. And nothing is less productive than
 to make more efficient what should not be done at all.”

~ Peter F. Drucker

One day I had the opportunity to listen to Marshall Goldsmith, one of America’s finest executive coaches speak. Though the man has a number of incredibly insightful things to say on any given moment, one thing he said that day made an impact on me that I still feel years later. The audience was eager to benefit from his wisdom. He took the stage and paused a moment before speaking. Then he told us to hold onto our seats while he told us something we probably didn’t want to hear.

When you hear the word leader, what do you think of?

My definition of a leader is quite simple: someone who sees and brings out the best in others and focuses each person’s unique talent, energy, style and passion to facilitate the creation of something extraordinary. Leaders are everywhere, and many of them are not in positions of authority.

Leaders have a following of their own, and the most effective of them garner this following more as a product of who they are than what they do. In the presence of a great leader, we ourselves feel great. And when we truly believe in ourselves, there is nothing we cannot do.

Leaders do not need to be at the forefront to serve in this way. In fact, some of the most effective leaders are those who are more concerned about elevating the status of others than raising their own. Lao Tzu, one of the greatest mystics of all time said “When the best leader's work is done the people say, "We did it ourselves."

One of my first posts, “The Who of a Leader,” was written to affirm that great leaders stand out more for who they are than what they do. Central to this idea is the notion of authenticity, or behaving in ways that are true to your own unique style, talents, and energy.

I received a comment on this post from a man named Jeffrey. He said, “I really enjoyed this post… The worst thing I think a leader can do is not be genuine. When leaders imitate or fake sincerity they are not being genuine and few things will bring quicker ruin than this. Respect from others is lost and others will be closed to you.”

Jeffrey, I wholeheartedly agree. One of the most powerful things leaders can do is connect with people. This is critical as one of the most significant functions of a leader is to accomplish things through others. This cannot take place if there is no bond.

What is that compels people to want to be leaders?

Many people are attracted to leadership positions because of the level of visibility and prestige they generate. Others become leaders because these positions often yield higher salaries. And some just like to be in charge. Usually these are not the sole motivations for leaders, though there are some exceptions. The most effective of leaders have other more significant motivating factors – the desire to serve and make a greater impact for example. And the best of these leaders are able to keep their egos from dominating their leadership.

In my last post, I introduced the notion that our egos left unchecked can propel us to act in ways that are not congruent with who we really are and ultimately weaken the impact and contribution we can make as leaders. In this post, we will explore one of the ego needs that is common to many leaders: the need for power.

Some people have a higher need for power than others do. People who tend to be driven toward action with a strong task orientation tend to identify more with this need than do others. They are prone to want to get things done (right now, or sooner) and feel they need a little extra kick to do so. Often, they rely on their authority or position to make mandates or demands.

In previous posts, I introduced the notion that our egos left unchecked can propel us to act in ways that are not congruent with who we really are and ultimately weaken the impact and contribution we can make as leaders. The last post explored the need for power, and today we will explore another of the ego needs that is common to many leaders: the need for control.

The need for control is very similar to the need for power, as it there is an element in there of wanting people to do what you say. However, control goes much deeper than this. It is about wanting to orchestrate entire chains of events and make things work out the way you think they should more often than not. People who fall prey to this ego need disdain chaos and often take their love of order to an extreme by trying to order things around them in a way that can generate a predictable result.

In previous posts, I introduced the notion that our egos left unchecked can propel us to act in ways that are not congruent with who we really are and ultimately weaken the impact and contribution we can make as leaders. The last post explored the need for control, and today we will explore another of the ego needs that is common to many leaders: the need for approval.

The need for approval is closely linked to a need to be liked, or even loved. When we seek this validation from others, we often engage in behavior that takes us away from who we really are in our efforts to become what we believe others want us to be. The need for approval is something that has been with many of us since childhood. From a very young age, many of us are brought up to do things in order to please others, and the rewards we get (inclusion, accolades, affection, etc.) reinforce the idea that we can actually act in ways that allow us to be more or less liked based on what we do rather than who we are.

In previous posts, I introduced the notion that our egos left unchecked can propel us to act in ways that are not congruent with who we really are and ultimately weaken the impact and contribution we can make as leaders. The last post explored the need for approval, and today we will explore another of the ego needs that is common to many leaders: the need for prestige.

The need for prestige is often another form of approval, only in mass quantities. Like the need for approval, it is somewhat rooted in a feeling of inadequacy that leads people to prove to themselves and others that they really are “someone”. It is easy to get lured into and swept away by the star appeal that people in high places generate. Many do not start out seeking this kind of reinforcement. Despite initially being taken aback by it, they can become intoxicated with it over time.