Assertiveness; when a man has it and uses it, people admire his strength. When a woman uses it she’s seen as a you-know-what and people are offended.
Of course there is a fine line between assertiveness and outright aggressiveness. Everyone, men included, need to learn where that line is and avoid stepping over it or risk alienating potential bosses, customers and friends.
Before I give you some tips about how to be assertive I want to talk about an article I read recently. It was written by a British journalist comparing Sarah Palin to Margaret Thatcher. According to this author there is no “shrillness” in Palin or Thatcher’s leadership style.
Politics aside, both women were held up as examples of strong women who exude confidence and mental toughness. These are qualities that command respect and make other people willing to follow you.
In my mind “shrillness” conjures up the mental image of a little girl stomping her feet and demanding attention. That is not the kind of image you want connected with your leadership style. The thought of either Sarah Palin or Margaret Thatcher resorting to tantrums and foot stomping is laughable.
Now, back to talking about assertiveness.
Assertiveness is the ability to honestly express your opinions, feelings, attitudes and rights, calmly and in a way that doesn’t infringe on the rights of others. In other words it is finding the middle ground between being a bully and a doormat. That confidence and mental toughness that Sarah Palin and Margaret Thatcher have are at the core of what it takes to be successfully assertive; in politics and in business.
Now that we’re clear about what assertiveness is, we’ll talk about how to get it and use it. Next time.
Learn, Experience, Enjoy Global Success !
Jinsoo Terry
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