In previous posts, I introduced the notion that our egos left unchecked can propel us to act in ways that are not congruent with who we really are and ultimately weaken the impact and contribution we can make as leaders. The last post explored the need for approval, and today we will explore another of the ego needs that is common to many leaders: the need for prestige.
The need for prestige is often another form of approval, only in mass quantities. Like the need for approval, it is somewhat rooted in a feeling of inadequacy that leads people to prove to themselves and others that they really are “someone”. It is easy to get lured into and swept away by the star appeal that people in high places generate. Many do not start out seeking this kind of reinforcement. Despite initially being taken aback by it, they can become intoxicated with it over time.
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December 6, 2007
Every time we learn something new, we strive to get to that point where we are able to do it naturally – without having to think too much about what we are doing. And when we finally hit that stage it is nice to settle into a groove. These grooves can be very productive when we are applying new skills and ways of doing things to challenging endeavors. But when these grooves keep us from moving forward and stretching ourselves they can become counterproductive.
If we allow ourselves to stay in our comfort zones too long, over time we will resist anything that could represent a change in equilibrium. The problem with staying in equilibrium is that everything around us is in a constant flux of change. We need to continually reevaluate whether our ways of doing things are aligned with the results we want to produce.
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December 8, 2007
I often conduct 360 feedback interviews for my coaching clients, which entails interviewing an assortment of people including their bosses, employees, customers, and peers to find out what the client’s perceived strengths and areas of opportunity are. It almost never fails that the areas that get in the way of people’s effectiveness and continued success are in some way strengths overdone.
The best listeners often get so wrapped up in passively listening to others that they forget to talk or to bring their views to the forefront. Those who have the admirable quality of being direct and letting others know where they stand can fall prey to delivering messages with a little too much force and not enough tact. Optimism can become naiveté, and realism can become pessimism. Thinking big can lead to overlooking the details, and those who are known for their precision are often criticized for missing the bigger picture.
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December 11, 2007
We make sense out of the world by telling ourselves stories about what is going on. These stories are based on what we have learned over the years through our various experiences. They are colored by our perceptions, knowledge, values, fears, and biases. In the absence of data, our brains tend to fill in the gaps based on what has happened to us before. And when we come to a conclusion about something, we tend to take in information that confirms what we believe and screen everything else out.
We are going to continue to create these stories no matter what. It is a part of being human. The trouble comes when we take our stories too seriously and are unwilling to entertain that perhaps there are pieces of the puzzle we do not know about. When someone does something, or shows up in a way that triggers old memories or associations, our stories begin to build. We then act as though they are true and often elicit the very behavior we do not want to see (which becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.)
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December 13, 2007
This blog post features an excerpt of a special report called “Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Set for Themselves ~ and How to Avoid Them” (valued at $47) that I am giving away to anyone who is willing to take the time to complete a brief survey to help me determine people’s most significant leadership challenges. To get your free report, go to http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=saAAJEMZHUw6ptu39axnsw_3d_3d . In appreciation of your participation, I’ll also send you a free audio briefing on The Seven Secrets of Extraordinary Leaders ($47 value). As a bonus, you’ll also receive and a one year subscription to Synchronistically Speaking ($197 value) which features an executive briefing on a different leadership challenge each month.
Continue reading "The Talk Trap – a Leadership Pitfall Explored" »
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December 22, 2007
This blog post features another excerpt of a special report called “Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Set for Themselves ~ and How to Avoid Them” (valued at $47) that I am giving away to anyone who is willing to take the time to complete a brief survey to help me determine people’s most significant leadership challenges. To get your free report, go to http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=saAAJEMZHUw6ptu39axnsw_3d_3d
In appreciation of your participation, I’ll also send you a free audio briefing on The Seven Secrets of Extraordinary Leaders ($47 value). As a bonus, you’ll also receive and a one year subscription to Synchronistically Speaking ($197 value) which features an executive briefing on a different leadership challenge each month.
Early in my career, I would get requests from leaders to come and help them “fix” their organizations. “My people need to learn to work better together,” they would tell me. And I would go about interviewing these people to find out what was going on. I asked them questions about what was working and what was not, what they thought needed to be changed, and what other insights they had.
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December 25, 2007
This blog post features yet another excerpt of a special report called “Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Set for Themselves ~ and How to Avoid Them” (valued at $47) that I am giving away to anyone who is willing to take the time to complete a brief survey to help me determine people’s most significant leadership challenges. To get your free report, go to http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=saAAJEMZHUw6ptu39axnsw_3d_3d
In appreciation of your participation, I’ll also send you a free audio briefing on The Seven Secrets of Extraordinary Leaders ($47 value). As a bonus, you’ll also receive and a one year subscription to Synchronistically Speaking ($197 value) which features an executive briefing on a different leadership challenge each month.
Like attracts like. This is one of the basic laws of physics, and it has become much more commonly referred to in the last few years. Other ways of saying this are you get what you focus on, or whatever you focus on will expand.
When we become aware of a condition that we wish to improve, whether that be our state of mind, a person’s behavior, or a state of affairs, we must be very careful that we do not overly identify with the problem versus the solution. It is one thing to be dissatisfied with a current state and quite another to immerse yourself in it.
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December 27, 2007
This blog post features an excerpt of a special report called “Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Set for Themselves ~ and How to Avoid Them” (valued at $47) that I am giving away to anyone who is willing to take the time to complete a brief survey to help me determine people’s most significant leadership challenges. To get your free report, go to http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=saAAJEMZHUw6ptu39axnsw_3d_3d
In appreciation of your participation, I’ll also send you a free audio briefing on The Seven Secrets of Extraordinary Leaders ($47 value). As a bonus, you’ll also receive and a one year subscription to Synchronistically Speaking ($197 value) which features an executive briefing on a different leadership challenge each month.
Working too hard is one of the toughest pitfalls to overcome for the simple fact that so many people see it as an attribute. Many of us are brought up to believe that the harder we work, the more we will accomplish and that the busier we are, the more important we must be. We are conditioned to see inactivity as laziness and the need for rest and relaxation as a sign of weakness. But a frenetic pace can suck the very life out of you. And without life, there is no true leadership.
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December 29, 2007
Are you one of the many people who HATE performance planning?
Many organizations have processes and templates for setting goals and targets for the year. Any many people go through the motions each time, scribbling something in the lines, checking the boxes and filing forms into a drawer where they remain until the end of the year when it is time for appraisals. My experience is that many people do not particularly enjoy the performance management process. In addition to giving people feedback on less than ideal performance, filling out paperwork on targets and goals tends to be a most universally dreaded task.
But what if it were more than filling out forms and checking boxes? What if there were a way to transcend the paperwork and use the time to work with people to envision targets and developmental goals that made their work, and their lives while doing this work, more meaningful and satisfying?
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